Home on the Range (GBA)

Home on the Range (GBA)

Caden Massey

You may be asking yourself a few questions. “What is ‘Home on the Range’?”, “Why is he playing that?”, or “Who asked for this?”

All these questions and more will be answered soon enough, but first you need a synopsis on Disney’s Home on the Range.

Home on the Range is a movie about a trio of dairy cows named Maggie, Mrs. Caloway, and Grace. The cows are trying to capture a cattle rustler named Alameda Slim for his bounty in order to save their farm from foreclosure.

Aiding them in their quest is a rabbit named Lucky Jack, horse named Buck. Almeda Slim also can yodel so well that he can hypnotize cows. This is his primary method for capturing them.

The film was released in 2004 and received mixed reviews. I know all of this sounds weird or bizarre and that’s because it is. If you don’t believe me then first of all you need to know that anything from the news is true, and second just Google it. You probably watched this movie as a kid and barely remember it, but I bet you had a good time watching it. How does the game hold up though?

In all honesty, it holds up about as well as the popsicle stick house you probably made when you were in elementary school.

You play the game as Buck, and Jeb who is a supporting role in the original movie. If you look up the game, it says you play as Lucky Jack, but as one of the three people on the planet who actually played this game, I can assure you that that is not true.

The most you see of him is at the beginning of some levels when he tells you about some new moves you’ve unlocked. The levels are very uninspired and have a loose connection to the story at best. There are levels that feel like they might be somewhere in the world of Home on the Range, but it is hard to tell. Jeb is the character you platform with, and my goodness is he slow.

Everything you do is so slow, that the first 30 minutes of the game is you trying to figure out how to make him clear jumps. The only way to increase his speed and jump more than once are with temporary power-ups.

There are a ton of parts that you just can’t do without power ups, which leads to backtracking, which leads to more anger, which leads to me throwing my controller at the TV. The parts where you play as Buck are even worse.

You have to fight on a 3Dish level, dodging fences and bandits. After you make it through that you have to brawl with some generic bad guys fist to hoof. It isn’t easy, and it certainly isn’t fun. You control so terribly, and everything feels clunky.

In all seriousness, I did have a slight amount of fun playing this game. The dialogue is somewhat funny in some spots, so that is alright.

The most enjoyment I got out of this game was the laughing from how terrible this game plays, and randomly missing jumps that seem possible, then attempting it again in the exact same way and succeeding. It was more funny than good, and there is something to be said about that.

I mentioned it once, but you must play this game on the Gameboy Advance or the Gameboy Player for the GameCube. This translates to at the very least a $20 purchase of a Gameboy Advance SP, which will leave you hunched over a screen and experiencing terrible audio.

At the very most, you could spend upwards of $100 on the Gameboy Player, plus a controller, plus GameCube. On the upside the game itself is practically worthless and won’t cost you much more than $5.

If you have the equipment to play the game, and $5 bucks on you, I would recommend you go buy something that will actually benefit you, like some pencils, or maybe a cup of coffee. No beating around the bush on this one. The game sucks. It is bad. The other reviewers I have seen say the game is alright, but those people are wrong. I rate this game 2 ruined Disney movies out of 10.