Oh Sir!…. The Insult Simulator

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Caden Massey

Backstory time. This summer I had a side mission. The mission in question, was to pass my poser friend in Xbox Gamerscore.
If you don’t know what that is, it is how you keep track of your achievements.
It is similar to the trophies on PlayStation, but the important part you need to know is that you get achievements for doing things in Xbox (or Windows) games, and those achievements cause your score to increase.
The reason I bring this up, and the reason I call my friend a poser is that he has thousands more Gamerscore than me, which seems basically impossible because he hasn’t played videogames for years, and even when he did play them, he only played about 3 games consistently.
So, because I am petty, I downloaded a bunch of free or cheap games. Oh Sir!… The Insult Simulator was one of them.
I went into this game completely
blind and I had never heard of it. After playing it, I still haven’t heard anyone talk about it. There is a reason for this.
This is one of the shallowest games I have ever played. That is not necessarily a bad thing (see my Big Bumpin’ review), but if you fail at the one thing you are trying to do, you are gonna have a bad time.
When I was playing Oh Sir I noticed that the game would keep doing this thing, were it would be so boring that I would just start checking my phone, and then before you knew it I was making some dinner and had completely forgotten the game existed. It is an absolute snooze fest.
The entire premise of the game is making insults in a duel against others. I mean, the insults are funny for about one round, but after that it just feels like you are playing the game to get through it.
Some characters have weaknesses that you won’t remember, and some characters have strengths you won’t ever get to use. The stages are a lot like the game. Pointless.
I literally cannot tell you how absolutely pointless this game was to play. The only thing I got out of this was a step closer to beating my friend.
Which would make it all worth it, but life is never that simple now is it? Instead, I got about 3 achievements total. The rest of them are so incredibly random that I was unable to get them. They are all completely based on luck.
So now that I have wasted my time, my money, and my storage space I am here, on this newspaper to whine. I can’t even help whining about it.
I don’t want to say it is the worst thing I have every played, but this game is seriously so boring. Like so boring. I would rather play a Need for Speed game. I hate Need for Speed, but at least I would be in pain as opposed to nothing.
Don’t download the game. That’s really the end of the story. It is not worth the space.
I know that a lot of people put in a lot of work on this, and I am sorry I am roasting it publicly, but it sucks. If you wanna see for yourself, it is on almost every current gen device.
Just look for it anywhere you want, and you will probably find it. I rate this game 2 simulated insults out of 10.