Wii Sports


Caden Massey

I’m going to give it to you straight. I’m running out of ideas. I have written far too many of these things, and I haven’t had any time to play anything new. No mortal man can play all the way through two separate games in two weeks while also being the president of this fine college and balancing my grades. So, you all are just going to have to deal with Wii Sports

First off, baseball is bad. No matter how I swing that bat, I always get the ball to go straight to someone in the outfield and go out every time. I’m not sure I have ever scored a point during baseball. Pitching is fine, but I think it is too easy. Also, if you turn on Wii Sports and go straight to baseball, you are a psychopath.

I feel as if the older I get, the more inclined I am to pick golf over the others. There is just something oh so different about smacking that golf ball as hard as you can and landing on that lone island. Only a mad man would attempt such a thing, and that is just the excitement I need in my life. Also, I think it is funny to watch someone putt the ball about a half an inch short of the hole. Hilarious.

I think tennis is alright. I find myself playing tennis when I’m tired of bowling and golf. My main gripe about tennis is hard to explain over text but I will try. Imagine swatting at a fly, but imagine there are a million flies. So, you just swing your hand around like a maniac. Now imagine doing that for about five minutes. That is what most people do during tennis. I legitimately fear for my life when I play because all it takes is one excited person to knock me out by swatting me. I think it is competitive enough, but not my favorite.

Boxing is awesome. I dislike when Matt (real ones know) absolutely kicks my hinny (Google it). Then again, if you are the best you have nothing to strive for. So, I thank Matt for beating me to a bloody pulp over and over again. Unfortunately, in order to fight the final boss of boxing, you have to beat up a lot of friendly looking Mii people. Boxing your friends is fun, but I tend to find myself punching like someone of Dragon Ball Z rather than a calculated punch. I swear I throw out about 300 punches in 30 seconds.

When it comes to bowling, it cannot be beat. It is the most fun, balanced, and technical in my opinion. Everybody talks about bowling. If you say Wii Sports, somebody is bound to challenge you to bowling. There are a lot of fun little tricks you can do as well, and I think even though it is a pretty straightforward kind of game, it is the most enjoyable to the most audiences.

The extra minigames and practices are fine, but nobody really plays those, so I don’t think it is worth writing much about those. Just give them a shot when you get bored, and I you have already experienced all you need to.

Obviously, Wii Sports is a Wii exclusive, but everyone and their grandma owns a Wii. You probably already have the game, and I would urge you to play it again. It deserves to be revisited. It isn’t something I would play every time, and unfortunately, I think Wii Sports Resort is the far superior title. With that in mind, I give Wii Sports 7 Matts out of 10.